Internet was better for a short time yesterday, but then went down again. Pretty frustrating, I do a lot of work on my computer. But the wi-fi is actually offered free through our landlord, so I guess beggars can’t be choosers. Anyway, I do have a memory for day 6 (yesterday). I’m currently at my mother’s house using her wi-fi. Good thing she lives about 5 minutes away from me. Although, it is still quite the production to get the baby, all the stuff I need for the baby, and my computer over here. But, I’ve done it! Ha!
My first memory is less a memory than it is a snapshot. I am three years old, I am in the grocery store, and I look up and see the can falling towards my face. You see, my first memory is a traumatic experience. Unlike the goat story, this was legitimately traumatic. I believe the only reason I remember it, as it happened before an age when most remember things, is because it was such a scary experience.
Still, I don’t remember the impact. All I see when I think about it is the can in mid-air, coming toward me. A frozen moment in time. Perhaps I don’t actually remember it, maybe I’ve just heard the story too many times.
When I was three years old, a can fell off of the top shelf in the grocery store and cut me right underneath my left eye. It was bad enough that I needed stitches. I can’t recall the trip over or how the adults reacted, but my next memory is even more frightening. I can still feel the arms of nurses, or maybe even my parents, holding me down while I screamed. I feel whatever it was the doctor put over my face to help him stitch me up, and that unnerving smell of disinfectant. I still don’t like anything over my face – not even masks or bed sheets.
I also don’t do well if I’m held down or told to lay still during procedures. I had a panic attack when prepping for the Caesarian that brought little Boo-Bear into the world. That is a story for another time.