I wasn’t quite asleep yet when my mother got the call. I was in that in-between phase of sleep where I was just starting to drift. I heard her breathlessly tell my dad that her mom was not feeling well or having trouble breathing – something to that effect. I listened as she rushed out the door.
I had a strange feeling. I was nervous and apprehensive, and just did not feel right. Shortly thereafter, sleep finally won.
When my dad was the one who came to wake me up the next morning, I knew. I sat up in bed, hoping that I was wrong. Once he brought my little brother into my room with me and started crying, my suspicions were proven right.
I cried for a moment, but even at ten years old I knew I needed to be strong for Ma. So, I was. We all went into the living room, and it broke my heart to see her. She was never much of a hugger, but I remember just sitting there and hugging her for a long time.
The hardest part for me was thinking about the last time I saw Granny. She lived up the hill from us, and though her health was poor and she couldn’t keep us after school anymore, I always stopped by to say hello when I got off the school bus.
Earlier that day when I had stopped by, she told me she wasn’t feeling well. She said she just felt weird. Maybe she knew. It’s hard to say. But I remember telling her that I hoped she would feel better and to get some rest.
Then I said, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” I didn’t say that to anyone again for a very, very long time.
We aren’t ever promised tomorrow, and I’m sure I had heard that before. She was the first person to die who was close to me, and that always rocks a child’s world a bit.
When I think about God, it seems to me that He exists outside of our construct of time. Eternity is. I feel like Heaven is a place where you are so busy worshiping that you don’t feel time pass, because it doesn’t. That’s hard to wrap my head around, but I like to think that when I get there – it will feel like “tomorrow” to my Granny. That no time at all has passed. She’ll be praising the Lord and she will tell me that she is feeling so much better.
Then all our tomorrows will be spent in awe and worship of the Creator.
Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”—yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. – James 4:13-14